Let’s Chat: My Struggle with Anxiety & Depression

 

I can’t move

Don’t panic

Why does this hurt so much

Don’t panic

I can’t stop crying

Don’t panic

Breathe in

Breathe out

Don’t panic

Tell me that everything is okay

That I’m not dying

Am I overreacting

Breathe in

Breathe out

——————

I don’t want to be this way

But the poison is in my brain

People see me in a certain light

But the voices are what I fight

Someone will always be better

Someone will always be prettier

Someone will always be further

But I am me

A product of the King

On my journey

Of perfecting

holiness


 

I don’t like to talk about my struggle with  anxiety and depression. Mainly because, I know mental health is no joke. There are so many people that suffer greatly and who am I to say I struggle when I feel that its just a product of myself.

I wanted to share a piece of my mind on the topic with the poem I wrote a few weeks ago.

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I’ve had the normal moments of depression and anxiety that everyone faces during different seasons of life.  Some spells last longer than others. I’ve also had other instances of possible panic attacks. (I never figured it out or pressed the issue with the doctor.) Sleepless nights or waking in panic consistently. Or times of isolation.

I would say the main source is negative thoughts. I have a constant flow of negative I try to silence. This has been the struggle for a long as I can remember. The thoughts will cause me to spiral so deep which then cause me to spiral more because I know the blessings I have in my life.

As I continue to get older, I’m becoming more aware of the struggles that people are dealing with and not discussing.  This was my whole reason to start this series on my blog; for it to be a place to share things that perhaps no one talks about or do not talk about enough.

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The one thing that I hold on to is hope. Constantly reminding myself of the hope I have in Jesus. The journey to change my mindset is still ongoing but each day is another chance from God to have victory.